Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine

The first time I read Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine I cried. To be completely honest, I sobbed by the time I read the last page. I haven’t been moved by a book since...well...I’m not sure. But this book surprised me. I related to Eleanor in a real and weird way. When I told someone that before they were shocked. No, not in the EXTREMELY traumatic past did I relate to her. No, not in a hating my job and not being understood way. No, not in the almost stalking a man way. But I understood the extreme loneliness she felt. This book came out in 2017 and I was drowning in loneliness then. I was so lonely and so isolated, but I hid it well. No one would’ve known that other than my husband. Eleanor didn’t fully comprehend how lonely she was till later in the book. I, on the other hand, knew just exactly how lonely I was. But I refused to be honest about it. Till I read this book.

Meet Eleanor Oliphant: she doesn’t have the best or almost any social skills and she normally says exactly what she’s thinking. She’s happy with her carefully timed life of avoiding social interaction. Her weekends are full with pizza, vodka, and phone calls with her mom. But that all changes when she meets Raymond, the over talkative unhygienic IT worker from her job. When Raymond and Eleanor save Sammy, a elderly man who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three people become friends. Friends who save each other from the isolation and loneliness that has been a part of their lives. And it’s Raymond’s heart that helps Eleanor save her immensely damaged one.

I said this wouldn’t be a true review because I can’t review this book. I think this book is moving, exceptional, and real. I would definitely put this in my top books I’ve read in my life. There’s not many fiction books in that club but this book changed my view of my life for the better. In 2017 when I first read this book, I had hardly any friends. I had people I knew and who those I would’ve called friend lived states away. I had no community near me. My husband was literally my only friend in my town. It was rough. It was debilitating. It was so lonely. I remember sobbing constantly to Michael and wondering why others had friends and I felt like I didn’t. I felt like something was definitely wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t worth being friends with. Social media DEFINITELY didn’t help. Every time I logged on to Instagram, Twitter, or even Facebook it felt like everyone was in a friend group...but me. I had just started a new job and was everyone there seemed to be in a clique except me. I bought this book and read it in 2 days. I felt Eleanor’s loneliness and her shame on being lonely. I had told myself many times , just like Eleanor, I was fine with no friends. But we were both lying to ourselves. I remember finishing this book and loving it. I related to it but it also spoke to be about something I had been unaware of. I realized I had put a wall up around myself emotionally and that was part of the reason making friends was so hard for me. I had bad experiences at certain places that I held against everyone. Between college, church, even jobs I had friendships that had failed and I was terrified of being hurt again. I wasn’t open to being hurt again but I was also letting loneliness eat me alive. I was going to church but making sure not to connect with anyone. I was at a job where I liked certain people but only thought of them as work friends. I was somewhat standing in my own way.

I think Eleanor is one of my favorite heroines I have ever read. She is by far not perfect. She's not someone that you would look up to or want to emulate. But man is she real. Her past in heartbreaking and beyond traumatic. But anyone who has ever felt a deep sense of loneliness will see a bit of themselves in Eleanor. Anyone who has ever tried to cope with loneliness will understand Eleanor. I didn't understand Eleanor at all in the beginning of the book. I was so confused by her and what her motives were. But as the book goes on, you as a reader start to empathize with her. I loved that over time, the book shows how little acts of community goes a long way. How just one person can change you life and start to show you how loved you are. And I'm not talking about romantic love. A lot of books will try cure every problem with a new romantic interest which is ridiculous. You can be in love and still be lonely. Love is not a cure all! But this book doesn't make Eleanor fall in love and BAM she's fixed. It does quite the opposite. It introduces friends into her life. It shows the importance of having friendship.How friendship and someone truly caring can save your life.

I won’t say I read this book and it solved everything. Because that isn’t true. But I started taking the steps to become a little less lonely. I stopped shaming myself and I stopped lying to myself about not being so lonesome. I can now say I have a pretty amazing group of friends. A small group of friends who have become such a strong support system. I reread this book before writing this and it still stands as such a great book to me. It does have some intense subjects such as alcoholism, abuse, bullying, and suicide. Those can be hard to read but if you can, I think you should. It’s a book that I think everyone should read.