One To Watch by Kate Stayman-London

"To have been that hurt, to feel that afraid, and to know that the only way you can really be fully happy is to risk going through it again? It's a terrifying choice to make. But if you want to let someone be that close to you, it's the only way."

I don't really watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I have watched maybe two seasons in my entire lifetime. One was the Juan Pablo season because it was the ultimate train wreck and who doesn't love to see a train wreck that has nothing to do with you? I also watched the Rachel Lindsay season because I felt like I should support the first Black bachelorette. Other than those two blimps that show normally doesn't catch my attention. Listen, I like trash tv just as much as the next person. Well I use to but these last couple of years have really turned me away from reality tv. I use to love the arguments, the cattiness, even the fake-ness never bothered me much. But not too much anymore. I do love 90 Day Fiance and Love After Lockup. Those two are horrible but at least they're diverse trash. Every bachelorette and bachelor look the EXACT same. There is never any diversity expect for the one or two Black people on each season. As if people of all shapes, sizes, and race don't want to fall in love?! Well at least pretend that they want to. Enter this book which is about what if The Bachelorette mixed with Love At First Sight casted their lead as a plus sized woman. Wild right? The idea shouldn't be whatsoever but we all know the real show isn't even close to doing that. I was intrigued by the idea of the book and how that idea was going to work.

Bea Schumacher is an amazing plus sized fashion blogger who has a loving family, great friends, tons on instagram followers, and an incredibly broken heart. Bea indulges in the reality show ,Main Squeeze, like most people. The amazing fantasy dates! The fabulous wardrobe! The insane amount of guys named Chad! But Bea is fed up with the distinct lack of body diversity in the show. Why is it only size 0 women on the show? Is that a requirement no one told her about? After one somewhat drunken rant on social media goes viral, Bea is asked by the Main Squeeze producers to be the next star of the show. Bea agrees but under one little exception. Under no circumstance will she actually fall in love. She's in this to help her blog, show some much needed body diversity, and get some pretty cool fantasy dates. But once cameras start rolling, Bea realizes she has no idea what she truly signed up for. Bea has to decide wether to trust these men with her heart and how to truly trust herself in the process.

I have to be honest and say I carry extremely mixed feelings about this book. On one hand I loved it and the message it sent. On the other hand some parts made me roll my eyes so hard. I loved Bea as a character. As a plus sized fashion blogger she seems to be extremely confident and self assured. But quickly the reader realizes that isn't necessarily true. She has a lot of insecurity and self worth issues. Which I understood and found to be pretty real. Especially in a society that has a very small picture of what beauty is. When you aren't in that small mold, it can be hard to find beauty in yourself. Or see how people around you can see the beauty and worth in you. Plus she's nursing a broken heart and we all know how hard that can be. Bea is extremely relatable and she is a character that I found easy to root for. This book shows her journey to self love and how to truly find peace with herself. I related to her journey and how she struggled to show her true self due to her insecurities. But I did not enjoy the reality show parts of the book very much. They seemed unrealistic and not as sincere as Bea's journey with herself. I never really connected with any of the guys on the show except for Sam and Asher. For half of the book, Bea herself isn't even into the reality show she's the lead on. But I did love the parts including her family and her best friend. They were great to add to the story and help Bea find her true self.

I would probably rate this book at 3.5 out of 5. I did enjoy its premise and loved the message about inclusion, diversity, and self acceptance. I also loved how it pokes fun at how fake dating shows are and how rare it is to actually find love in about two to three months. I wish the dating show parts hadn't seemed so "fluffy" and superficial. Bea's inner thoughts and feelings felt so vulnerable and real. I wish the other parts of the book had that same authentic feel. This isn't to say that book isn't worth reading. Because I think it is. It's a light read with heart that will leave you with a smile by the last page. Which I think is worth reading right about now. Leave a comment below and tell me if this sounds like a book you'd be interested to read! I'm curious!